It's Our Bed Now
by WriteAtNight
Summary: Sequel to In My Bed? Drake and Josh have a new sleeping routine. D/J Slash Complete.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I am so sick of these but I still must tell everyone that I don't own them, which is pretty obvious because if I did, well… you read these fics I write? Those would be episodes. **

**Rated: T **

**Summary: Sequel to In My Bed? Drake and Josh have a new sleeping routine. D/J Slash. **

**A/N: I'm really trying to keep a T rating here and think I can manage but can I just say that man some of the thoughts with this situation… okay anyway. This chapter might seem slow and the fic might seem off to a slow start (then again maybe not) but I wanted another night of awkwardness and their conversation, and Drake's practice. I hope you give it a chance and will not be disappointed. Who do you think is going to cave first with their feelings? Do you have any theories on how this is going to turn out or what will bring them to that point? Happy reading, I will be working on Chapter 2 later today (I have to be gone most of the day). I tried to fix all mistakes, sorry for any I missed.  
**

**Flashbacks in italics**

--

It's Our Bed Now Chapter 1

"_So Drake, is this going to be like a new ritual we have or something?" Josh asked. _

"_Does it bother you?" Drake asked. _

"_Obviously not. You?" Josh asked him. _

"_Seriously?" Drake said and rolled his eyes at Josh smiling. _

"_Yeah," Josh chuckled. "Okay well, then we need to make a pact or something right?" _

"_About?" Drake held his hands out like he was confused. _

"_We can't let this interfere with our lives. You know, it's all private and personal and all," Josh said. _

"_Well, yeah, sure," Drake said. _

"_So, okay last night I was thinking like that commercial what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. You've seen it right?" Josh asked. _

_Drake nodded. _

"_Then that's us," Josh said. _

"_Dude, we live in San Diego, not Las Vegas," Drake smiled. He knew what Josh meant but couldn't help but tease him, that and the thoughts of them in Vegas… _

"_Oh yes you are quite the comedian today aren't you?" Josh smiled and rolled his eyes. _

"_Okay, sorry. You were saying," Drake said. _

"_Just you know, what happens in bed stays in bed," Josh told him. _

"_Okay. Fine. I agree," Drake said. _

_They shook hands. _

"_I mean its not like I'm going to go around advertising that I'm sleeping with my stepbrother or anything," Drake added. "Well you know, right? I mean not sleeping with but sleeping with, I guess?" _

"_Right, sleeping with. We're just sleeping," Josh nodded._

_--_

Josh thought of the conversation they had earlier that day while he waited for Drake to come home.

Drake and his band were practicing and he was very nervous at first to even go but Josh reminded him that he was the sober one the night of the party.

"So how did it go?" Josh asked when Drake walked in the door.

"I'll tell you later," Drake smiled.

Josh smiled back and nodded. He knew that he would have another night with the boy he loved.

He took a shower first, the same as he did the night before, followed directly by Drake even though Drake seriously thought he would wait longer tomorrow because this whole hot water thing was not working out.

Drake tried to use the shower water to wash away the impure thoughts in his mind before getting into Josh's bed yet again, for the third night. Second night with permission, well he didn't actually know if he had permission or not last night. It didn't matter, he thought, he was there anyway.

Josh smiled when Drake took a shower and was really glad that shower was water because it wasn't able to tell Drake that the person that was in there before him thought of nothing but him and more importantly the new routine they seemed to be developing.

Drake turned the light off when he came back in the room.

"You know it's really difficult to get everything ready for tomorrow in the dark," Josh chuckled.

Drake turned the lamp on by Josh's bed. "I told you I'd tell you later, remember,"

Josh smiled. Even though the reason was because he wanted to tell him something, he loved the fact that Drake wanted to go to bed already. He could definitely handle this, he thought. Drake, wanting desperately to get into his bed… okay so maybe he wasn't so desperate but he could still think it, right. "Yes you did,"

Josh walked over and climbed in. Drake waited until he was in and then he climbed in as well.

"So, what happened?" Josh asked as he did when Drake first got home.

"It was great. I took your advice. You know, I told them that their drinking totally messed me up. I yelled at them and told them if they want to drink fine but to do it when we're not playing. They felt terrible and apologized. They bought it," Drake said and wondered if this was the part he would get held or hugged or something because if not, tomorrow he needed to have another crisis.

"Awesome. I told you it would be okay didn't I?" Josh said. He looked over and smiled at Drake. He momentarily wondered what Drake would do if he leaned over and kissed him. Its not like he could pass it off as excitement, even though it would definitely be in excitement. He resisted the urge and hoped that he would be able to resist the temptation for a long time because he didn't want this to end and more importantly, he didn't want his relationship with Drake to end.

Drake looked back up at the ceiling and his mood was beginning to change when all of a sudden he felt it. Just like last night. An arm slipped under his head. His mood was coming back. This is something he could get used to, and then he realized… he already had.

Again, like last night he moved until his head rested on Josh's shoulder. Josh smiled inwardly and then almost panicked wondering if Drake could tell his pulse increased. He would hate to make his brother uncomfortable and really was trying to walk softly and play this whole thing cool but cool was the complete opposite of the way he felt.

He moved his other arm around Drake the way he did last night and was rewarded with his hand again. It was just like last night. Since it was like last night, he thought, he kissed Drake's head again.

There was something about being freshly showered, cuddled up in bed with your stepbrother, your best friend, they both thought. It was a calming force. One that made them both fall asleep again.

It was Drake that woke up first that night. The door had already been locked, he had done that when he first came in but they were still on top of the covers. He debated actually waking Josh up or not. He figured if he didn't they could stay like this all night instead of being separated on different sides. He decided though to wake him up because if they woke up like this in the morning it would be different and a little more than he figured Josh was willing to take plus it would be Monday, a school day and he really didn't want Josh freaked out at school.

He wondered how he should actually wake Josh up. He wondered if the whole kissing thing would work like on that movie, or well a few movies he recalled. Yeah so much for not wanting to freak Josh out. He could just imagine what Josh would say if he woke him up by kissing him. It would almost be funny, he thought, if it was a joke or something but since he wouldn't kiss Josh as a joke it would just end up breaking his heart when Josh freaked out and yelled at him over it. He just said his name and shook him gently.

"Hey, let's get under the covers now, it's late," Drake said.

Josh woke up and smiled at him. And looked at him. Drake mentally slapped himself. He knew he shouldn't look at Josh, or his eyes at night, while they were going to bed. Please no dreams, he said in his mind. The good thing is at least he didn't speak, that helped.

"Okay," Josh whispered. They got under the covers. "Goodnight Drake".

Yeah, well there goes that, Drake thought. "Goodnight Josh," he said.

Josh turned the light off and there was night three.

--


	2. Monday, Monday

**Our Bed Chapter 2**

**Monday Monday**

**Disclaimer: I so do not own. **

**Rated: T**

**A/N: Okay, here we go. We're getting somewhere. Don't worry I won't be doing a day to day thing but today is their first day going to school since this started and I thought it might be interesting to see what happens. And of course, that night… Happy reading.  
**

--

Monday, Monday

When the alarm went off Josh reached over and turned it off. Monday, the first day of school since they started sleeping together.

He wondered if anybody was going to be able to tell. This would be a test, he thought. He hoped Drake wouldn't feel weird about it. Waking up on a weekend was different than waking up and facing a school full of people.

"Drake, come on. Time to get up and get ready," Josh shook Drake gently.

"Can't we stay here just a little bit longer?" Drake asked barely waking up.

I wish, Josh thought. "Only if you want our parents or Megan coming up here and finding you in my bed," Josh teased.

Josh laughed. Drake must not have thought that was a good idea because he immediately got up and started getting ready.

--

"Something though," Eric said.

Josh laughed "I don't know what you're talking about seriously,"

"Hey Josh," Drake said walking up to him at lunch. He sat down beside him. "What's going on?"

"That's what we're trying to figure out," Eric said.

"Huh?" Drake asked.

"Josh won't tell us what's going on but something obviously is," Craig nodded.

Josh felt like he could die. This is not what he wanted to happen. Not with Drake here listening and watching him. Of course something was going on. He had Drake in his bed three nights in a row.

"Do you know?" Eric asked.

"He wouldn't know," Josh said. Of course he wouldn't know. He _couldn't_ know. Know that the reason he was in an amazing mood was because Drake asked if they could stay in bed a little longer. Not "_I_", no, he said "_we_".

"No, I don't know anything," Drake shrugged. He smiled inwardly at the thought that he might possibly be having an impact on Josh and perhaps there was more to what was going on than he thought.

"Because there's nothing going on," Josh told them.

Okay, the smile just faded. Point taken, Drake thought.

"Just a really good night's sleep I guess," Josh added.

Then again, Drake thought, maybe not, or maybe so, or something. He felt like he was going crazy.

"Well whatever you're doing keep it up, you look so refreshed today or something," Eric said.

Josh looked at Drake for a minute until he realized he was staring and then looked down.

"Yeah, I'll do that," Josh said distracted.

Drake smiled. He couldn't help it."Okay, well, I've got to go. See ya Josh," he got up and walked away loving how the conversation went. At least Josh was happy and not upset. He wasn't exactly sure what caused Josh to be in such a good mood but least it was a good mood and not a freaked out one.

--

"I can do this," Drake thought that night as his date was coming to a close. I've done this so many times. I can kiss this girl. I can make myself. I've done it before. Just do it. Be the commercial, just do it. Kiss her. What happens in bed stays in bed, don't let it interfere with the other parts of your life. Why did I agree to that, he thought. He loved what happened in bed even though nothing really had happened. Of course something happened. He had been kissed on his head two times now, he had held Josh's hand while he was holding him two nights, he had been in Josh's bed three nights and even though they didn't know what was going on, Craig and Eric thought Josh looked refreshed. Josh is innocent in this though, this, this, crush or whatever. Infatuation, desire, want, this need to be around Josh, the urge to kiss him, the desire to want him to kiss you, hold you, touch you…

Drake grabbed his date and kissed her. She couldn't tell it was thoughts of his stepbrother that made it bearable to him and made it the hottest kiss of her life. She couldn't tell when it ended that the reason Drake Parker was breathless after kissing her was because he imagined about ten things he wanted to happen while he was in his brothers bed and those ten things were being done to, with, and by his brother, well, stepbrother he clarified to himself. She couldn't tell, and he wasn't going to tell her. Instead he smiled. He was proud, another one down. If they only knew, he smiled, if they only knew that even before he was in that bed that the person he thought of during their kisses was Josh. It was even worse when Josh was around and Drake was thankful that tonight he wasn't around. It drove him crazy and was now driving him even crazier.

Being so close to him… he wished, oh God he wished that once, just once Josh would lose his conscience or something and do _something_ "wrong", namely, _him_. Sometimes he wanted to parade around the room naked just to see if he could get some kind of reaction out of Josh. Surely, he thought, there's at least one improper, impure, hormone driven thought in that brilliant mind somewhere.

--

Josh took a shower after he finished his homework and went to bed. His mom (it was feeling very strange calling her that he thought) asked if he was sick but he assured her he was just tired and ready for bed.

It wasn't a lie. He was ready for bed. He was ready for his stepbrother to curl up in bed next to him and allow him to hold him. He was ready to be only inches away from the body he wanted to touch, the body that drove him crazy, the _boy_ that drove him crazy.

He was ready, but Drake was gone. A date. He couldn't blame him for dating although he really wanted to. He couldn't though, it wasn't like their bedtime indulgence meant anything other than sleeping and well, he was the one in fact that made them agree that what happened in bed stayed in bed and they wouldn't let it interfere with the other areas of their lives.

How could he be so stupid? He hoped, and really hoped that Drake would somehow be unable to date or even look at a girl. He hoped that he had some kind of impact on Drake. Those girls could never love Drake. Nobody could ever love him the way he did. Nobody deserved to touch him. No, loving Drake was an honor and to touch him, that should be a freaking privilege. You should have to have a permit to do that. He should be the only one to have that permit too because he knows nobody could ever want to please Drake the way he did, and not just physically but in every way.

_He_ was the one Drake went to when he was upset, when he was happy, excited, mad, and everything else. _His_ bed was the one he went to when he needed comfort. _His_ arms were the ones he went to when he needed held. _His_ lips were the one that touched him when he was upset the other night and then got to relive last night. Nobody else should be able to touch what should be his.

He threw his head in his pillow and sighed. How long was this going to last he wondered. How long before he would end up trying to kiss and really kiss his brother? How long before the temptation became too strong? Maybe he needed to go to confession or _something_ anyway if not that because somehow, somehow he had to get help. He couldn't lose this. He couldn't let this go. His Drake, in his bed, in his arms, and in his heart. He couldn't lose him. He couldn't let Drake find out. If he did, then he would lose him for sure.

He knows they all think he's so naïve and so innocent and he smiles and lets them. It makes it easier to have these thoughts. If he's good in every other way then it must not be bad to think this way. It must not be too bad to wish it was him Drake was kissing when he saw him hungrily kiss yet another girl right in front of him. It couldn't be bad because everyone tells him how good and sweet he is.

And Drake did kiss a lot of girls, so how could he even think for a second Drake would ever want _him_. He sometimes thought about pushing the girls out of the way before he kissed them and telling them that they have no idea how he should be kissed or touched because nobody could know that, unless they loved him, and nobody could love him like that, unless they were _him_.

He could make Drake happy though he knows he could. Just holding him the way he does makes Drake seem like a totally different calmer person. He can imagine the life they would have if they were actually together.

Winding down at the end of the day like they do now, cuddled up next to each other, holding Drake, making sure he felt loved, secure, and safe, telling him he loved him repeatedly, and then he would kiss him… repeatedly, and then he would…

The door slamming brought him out of his fantasy land. That and almost gave him a heart attack.

"Sorry, were you asleep?" Drake asked when he saw Josh on the bed.

No, just waiting for you, _wanting_ you, Josh thought. "No, just kind of relaxing,"

"Oh good," Drake smiled.

Josh smiled back at him and Drake stared. He couldn't help it. The smile, the eyes, and the voice, the boy… "Well, I'm going to take a shower," Drake said.

"Okay, have fun," Josh said.

Drake laughed "okay," he walked out.

Josh smacked himself in the head mentally "Have fun? _Have fun_? I'm going to take a shower… okay have fun. How stupid can you get?" he thought. He shook his head and refused to let himself think any further thoughts that could make this night disastrous.

When Drake came back in he locked the door. Josh already had the lights off and lamp on. He climbed over Josh instead of going around which made Josh chuckle.

"I didn't want to walk around," Drake said.

"I kind of noticed," Josh laughed. I'm not complaining, he thought.

"Did it bother you?" Drake asked and then wanted to shoot himself after he did. "Screw it up Drake, you're going to screw it up. Just calm down. This is the one constant you have in your life and you're going to make it go away. Just calm down," he told himself.

"No, it was funny," Josh said. And cute, and awesome, and adorable, and oh my God if you do that again, he thought.

"Great, it was funny. Kind of not what I was going for," Drake said to himself. He knew this was going to be the most difficult night they've faced, or at least that _he's_ faced with Josh. It must have been the date, that stupid date, the thoughts, the kiss, well not the kiss but the thoughts that he had to think to make him kiss her. Yes it would be a difficult night.

Josh watched the boy beside him for a few seconds. He knew this would be the most difficult night of being next to him so far with all the thoughts that had went on in his head.

He moved closer to see if Drake would too, which he did. It almost seemed like a mating call of some kind, Josh thought, the way they carefully made their moves. He carefully moved his arm under his brother's head and just like it was supposed to happen he happily moved his head and rested it on his shoulder.

Josh felt he could really die a happy man at that moment. Yes die with Drake laying on him and his arm now going across Drake and Drake grabbing his hand. This was their thing, their pattern now.

He really had no reason to kiss Drake tonight other than the fact he had done it the past couple of nights so of course he did it again. He almost swore that Drake took a quick breath when he did but he knew he would only be deceiving himself if he allowed himself to keep thinking that.

"I love you Josh," Drake whispered.

"Oh my God, I was wrong" Josh said to himself. "_Now_ I can die. Right now. Please take me I'm ready to go" he silently prayed because in his mind, life couldn't get any better, regardless how Drake meant it, he said it. He said I love you Josh... while they were in bed, while he was letting him hold him and while he was holding his hand. "I love you too Drake," he whispered back.

Drake had his eyes closed but rolled them back anyway and bit the inside of his lower lip. Josh wouldn't be able to tell but _he_ would. If Josh only knew the effect that his voice had on him. Josh could convince him to do anything with that voice. That voice made him want to really ask for things he shouldn't be asking for and he was afraid that one day he would end up asking anyway. But tonight, tonight he would just enjoy being in the comfort of Josh's arms as he peacefully drifted off to sleep with the boy he loves while yet another boundary has been pushed just a little farther, while they both thought to themselves that there aren't many left and both were struggling _not_ to be the one to cross the big final line.

--

**A/N2: Okay guys, it's possible the next chapter will be the last, I can't say for sure. I want to do it justice and dragging it out too long might be difficult. And, if it is the last chapter, then obviously some time will have lapsed (and therefore bringing us some flashbacks??). I have really been into this story, I'm just sorry it has taken me this long to post this chapter. So, I hope you enjoyed Chapter 2. I will be working on Chapter 3.  
**


	3. Within Reach

**It's Our Bed Chapter 3 "Within Reach"  
**

**Disclaimer: No, I don't own them, but I wish I did, we could have such fun times. **

**Rated: T**

**Summary: Almost two weeks since it started. Thursday. We are almost there. Drake/Josh's thoughts as they are having dinner with their parents and the conversation they're all having. **

**A/N: My apologies for the delay. I have had relatives at my house since last week and it has made it difficult to write, plus a member of my household had a birthday. So, here's chapter 3. Now, this is obviously not the end. What was going to be the end w/ flashbacks became too long. So this chapter while may not have the progress it was originally going to, there is some and just the thoughts they are having while having the conversation (with the parents) and how you can see things change in the routine. I ended it where I ended it for a reason and chapter 4 (the beginning) will reveal it. So, again sorry for the delay. And, I just want to say I already have part of chapter 4 written (thank God for staying up till 2 am to get this done and start on 4). **

**--**

Within Reach

Go to hell, Drake thought as he smiled kindly at the conversation going on tonight at dinner. So yeah, nobody knew what had been going on but they sure make it seem like they did or something.

Talking to and about Josh and about the two of them. He wanted to yell, protest, he wanted to tell them what they had been doing and that this whole going off to college and them being separated thing won't work. Maybe they would shut up.

So they hadn't done anything but what they had been doing already. Still it was nice, comforting, peaceful, difficult, kind of sad. It was like wanting something so bad that you can almost touch it but you are separated by a glass wall with no way around it. You can put your hand up to it but you'll never get it because it is so out of reach, only this he can and has touched, and been touched by.

_This_ has held him, hugged him, kissed his head, and cheek, and brushed his hair with his fingers. _This_ has told him he loved him every night since the night he said it first. _This_ has changed his life like he has everyday since he first moved in with him. _This_ has made him crazy and question everything he ever knew about himself.

_This_ is leaving "one day that might seem far away but really isn't" as Walter put it. Of course it's far away, or it should be Drake said inside but instead told them he couldn't wait and laughed. He of course hoped Josh would know he didn't mean it. He couldn't mean it, and he wouldn't mean it. Josh would know that. He had to by now didn't he?

"It will really seem weird considering you have shared a room so long to know that you're no longer right there within reach" his mom said. As much as he didn't want to call his mother a name one came to his mind anyway. Along with everything else he could have said to cuss them both out.

Why were they doing this tonight? Did they know? Did they find out and this was their way of telling them to stop, that they are heading down a bad path? Did they not think he knew that? He didn't care that he knew that, he wanted to do it anyway. So what, maybe he wasn't going down this bad path by himself, maybe he already had somebody waiting for him at the end, or that would at least go to the end with him, and then again maybe it wasn't a bad path after all, maybe it was a good one, or could be, or would be, or something.

Why bring this up tonight? "Do you really want me to go crazy?" He asked them in his mind "Do you want me to mess this up and end up with nothing, which apparently "one day that seems far away but really isn't" I'll end up with nothing anyway." Shut up, shut up, shut up!

Don't ruin this, please, he told them silently. Don't make this go away yet. They didn't know the feeling of being in someone's bed like this. They didn't know what this was to them, or at least to him, which made him wonder.

What did Josh think about this? Did he want to do this every night because he wanted to or because it was just his way of giving in to him? He couldn't ask. He really didn't know if he wanted to know. At least with him not knowing for sure, he still had "what if".

--

Seriously, out of everything that could be discussed tonight me leaving have to be discussed, Josh thought. Do you even know that I don't want to go anymore, or well, I do but don't want to leave what I have, even though what I have is an illusion?

Illusion, figment of ones imagination, fantasy, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera. Sure I could go on but I'll stop there. I know what it is okay? I know it's not real but to have it right there with you, next to you, touching you and letting you touch it, I want the illusion. I want the fantasy. It is this other world that exists in my mind when we turn the lights off, except the little dim lamp, that is the only thing holding me to reality.

"I love you" I say and he says back or he'll say and I say back. It doesn't matter who says it first, it only matter that we say it. We've gotten into more of a comfortable pattern or something. I even brush my fingers through his hair now. I put my arm around him and he grabs my hand and then I sometimes leave his hand and hold his arm and he does the same with me.

We're closer now. I mean not that he wants to be close like I wish he did but still I feel it. A bigger trust, a bigger bond, a bigger comfort. Silence, with many words spoken. I'm saying I love you, more than you could ever possibly know. He's probably saying thank you for this, this break away from the busyness of my life and the band and whatever. But me, I say more. Thank God he can't hear me.

Now, now you are reminding me what I'm going to lose. How dare you? You call yourselves parents? Why do this if you are parents? Do you know? Do you know what I say when he's next to me. Do you know what I say even now just looking at him and laughing over the comment he made about how he can't wait until I go.

You started this. You made him say that I know you did. You probably freaked him out somehow and now he'll leave tonight. You talking about us not being within reach. Do you know how he's going to take that? He's probably now rethinking all of the nights we have slept together and how we _shouldn't_ be within reach because that's not what guys do, especially us, especially stepbrothers.

Well you know what? Maybe that's not what most guys do, or what stepbrothers do, but it _is_ what _we_ do. Don't you know that I need that? Do you even know what it's like to be that close to something you want? Probably not because you have what you want, and its in your bed… well mine is too, even though not like that, and that is the hard part.

So, I'm not going right away it doesn't matter, I now have to live with this conversation in my head tonight and well, it 's getting harder every night to do this without pushing things and losing things, losing him, losing our routine, what I don't know what I'd do without and what I really never wanted to be without even before I had it.

Stop talking about it though okay. I don't want that day to come, don't you understand. I don't want to talk about it, which is why I don't talk about it and haven't talked about it. You are sadistic people, even though you don't know it.

--

They both had the feeling every night that it was getting difficult, more difficult keeping their feelings to themselves. They wanted to believe the other one was so receptive to what they were doing yet they were both afraid to ask.

They used their bedtime to talk about things; things that they could get close to each other while talking about without making it seem weird. And they managed to keep it separate from things discussed in their daytime lives.

They both rushed through their showers so they could enjoy the warmth of each other, the comfort of the other's breathing, the safety of the other's touch.

The dim lamp was the only light when Drake came in from his shower and he looked at Josh who was sitting on the couch. He climbed onto Josh's bed. Josh looked at Drake on his bed, lying there waiting for him. He smiled at him. Drake smiled back. Both of them thinking they couldn't believe the other one didn't know how the other one felt.

He walked over to the bed and got in on his side but thought briefly about doing what Drake did the night of his date. He thought about climbing over Drake but decided against it because he would probably not make it over him. No, he would probably cave and tell Drake how he really felt about him, which would freak him out and make him go to his own bed so Josh decided against it.

There they were, on top of the covers, their usual routine. They both wanted to talk tonight as they normally did, but they were both afraid to talk about it. Neither one of them said a word about it. Not tonight. No, they were both afraid that if they _did_ it would end tonight. Drake figured Josh would tell him that they needed to start separating themselves from each other so its not too hard when they really were going to be separated. Josh figured if he said anything about what was said Drake would joke about it like he did downstairs and even though it was just a joke, Josh knew he couldn't take that coming from Drake… not in bed.

Before getting into their regular position they turned to face each other on their sides. Drake's hand found Josh's hand. They stayed like that for a few minutes trying to search the other's eyes, and face, trying to see if they could see a hint of what they wanted to see, but neither one was going to let it show. Not tonight, not when they both thought their routine was jeopardized. And not when they thought if they did let it show that the other one would think it was just because of the things said downstairs and how it was a form of separation anxiety.

They got into their regular position after a few moments of searching, after neither one saw what they were hoping to see. Drake with his head on Josh, Josh with his arm around Drake, Drake holding Josh's hand, and Josh kissing Drake's cheek.

They always said I love you, and it was always casual, or they tried to make it seem that way but tonight after Josh kissed Drake's cheek it just seemed automatic. He said I love you, just not the way he normally did. "I love you Drake," he whispered in Drake's ear.

Drake then did what he has never done, during this routine anyway. He turned his head and whispered "I love you too Josh," in Josh's ear and then gently kissed his cheek also.

--


	4. Open Arms

**It's Our Bed Now Chapter 4 "Open Arms"**

**Disclaimer: I don't own. They're not mine.  
**

**Rated T **

**Summary: The day after last chapter (Friday) with flashback of the previous night (Thursday). And to all who wanted the boy kissing… this chapter is for you. Flashback in italics.  
**

**A/N: I am sorry it took so long to do but this chapter has gone through rewrites plus just a lot of real life stuff has been going on that kind of took writing away for awhile but hopefully that won't happen again. I stayed up all night (actually all night as in didn't sleep) writing this (or rewriting I guess I should say) so if there are any mistakes I am so sorry. I really do hope someone enjoys this. Also while technically this is the end of the story, I wrote a bonus chapter 5. It isn't as long or anything, but it's a little something extra. Thank you for reading. **

**--**

Chapter 4 "Open Arms"

"Josh, Josh, have you heard a word I've said?" Walter asked.

"Sorry, I uh, I don't know. What?" Josh said.

"You seem distracted today, is everything okay?" Walter asked.

"Yeah, everything's fine. Long night really I guess," Josh nodded. He glanced at Drake who was trying not to look at him.

So, everyone has a bad night sometimes. Everyone has problems in their relationships sometimes, right? He thought. Everybody has to sleep alone sometimes.

He felt sick. He felt like he couldn't breathe this morning and everything was wrong with the entire universe and while it wasn't true entirely, everything was wrong in his universe, all because of last night.

--

_Drake sighed. Josh followed. _

"_I'm sorry," Drake said. _

"_For what?" Josh asked. _

"_You know for not being able to sleep and so you can't sleep and then wake up and get under the covers," Drake told him. _

"_No Drake it's okay don't worry about it. It's okay. I can't sleep either okay," Josh said. _

"_Josh," Drake wanted to throw up as soon as he knew he had to do this. _

"_Yeah?" Josh asked. _

"_Uh, I mean this is great and our routine and everything but since neither of us can sleep it's going to be too hard to wake up and get under the covers and well maybe I should go to my own bed tonight, you know?" Drake said. _

"_Okay," Josh said. He couldn't stop him. He couldn't try to stop him. Not that night. Like he thought earlier Drake would probably blame it on separation anxiety. Josh wasn't though. Josh was blaming their parents. _

_Josh knew he had to let go. He had to let go of the hand in his and he had to feel the weight of Drake's head leave him and he had to watch perfection walk away and then, he had to be alone. Alone in this bed, the bed that he had shared with Drake for two weeks. He now had to be alone. After knowing what it was like to hold Drake even if he could only pretend it was "like that" he had to and hated to let him go. He didn't know if he had ever been so angry with their parents. _

_-- _

_Drake knew he had to let Josh's hand go and lose the warmth of his arm over him. His arm felt more like a seat belt or something keeping him safe more than an arm as it held him but tonight he had to leave it. He had to leave the warmth of a bed that he hoped would become his own, by rights, sometime soon. He hated saying that to Josh and was hoping he would stop him and maybe suggest they just get under the covers but he didn't. _

_He had to say something though because they weren't talking and if they weren't going to talk and couldn't sleep at least he could be where it wasn't so awkward. Not that Josh and Josh's bed was awkward, it was just if he had to be awake knowing they needed to sleep it was better that he be alone with his thoughts. He actually figured what he was screaming in his head was somehow keeping Josh awake, as ludicrous as it sounded._

_Finally he let his fingers slip out of Josh's and Josh moved his arm to let him go. It wasn't a glass wall he heard breaking, it was his heart and he hated the fact he let himself become so vulnerable, so dependent. _

_He moved his head and looked at Josh. He hated that blank expression. He wanted something. Dim eyes, bright eyes, something, anything, anything except the switch being completely shut off as in nothing no light at all. Not disapproving, not hurt, nothing. At least though he wasn't happy. If he was happy the bright light would be there and so he took no light as a somewhat hopeful sign. _

_He got up and moved off the bed feeling like he was leaving everything he ever knew and was going somewhere he had never been even though where he was going was a place he used to love to go to. He used to love going to bed up there. Just some time alone, nobody else, just him. It was funny, he thought, how things change and how quick change can happen. _

_He climbed up the ladder and into the cold lonely bed known as his, but it didn't feel like his anymore. Even after he was up there almost an hour it didn't seem like his. It still felt unfamiliar. He felt like he was cheating, cheating on a bed that wasn't even his. He felt like he wasn't supposed to be up here but knew he wasn't able to go back down at least for the night. _

_His biggest fear had actually come true that night. He was afraid he would be alone and now he was, in the cold lonely what he referred to as a "one night stand" bed, or he hoped that's what it would be. Hopefully tomorrow he would be back "home" with Josh in Josh's arms, in Josh's bed… he stopped his thoughts there and tried to go to sleep._

_--_

_His biggest fear had come true tonight. Drake left him. At least he said "tonight" and that was hopeful, unless he decided he liked it alone again, Josh thought. He hated watching him walk to his bed. He hated watching him climb the ladder and lay down. _

_So close, he was so close to him and now he is so far away again. He had known lonely many times in his life and on many levels but what he felt with him in his bed and Drake in his own is a level of loneliness he never knew was even possible. Even though Drake was still in the same room he now felt like they were on opposite ends of the earth with no way to get to each other. Drake was truly no longer "within reach", or at least for tonight. _

_That's all it takes, Josh thought, just one night is all it takes for a heart you have tried to protect to break into a million tiny pieces and being unable to pick them up. _

_It didn't feel right to him. It didn't feel right being in that bed alone. That bed was built for more than one person to occupy it and had served its purpose perfectly the past two weeks. He tried to pretend it was the bed he felt sorry for tonight but really he knew it was just himself. _

_The one and only thing that helped him even get to sleep that night was the fact that Drake kissed him also. Even though Drake kissed him several times, this was the first time in bed. He could live with that over and over again tonight. _

_--_

They managed to maintain the what happens in bed stays in bed rule throughout the day, except for Josh spacing out this morning but he could pass that off as anything, just temporary distraction. He fought it off knowing if he didn't he would be breaking his own rule so he shook it off and by the time they left for school he was "normal". Even with each other they managed to keep it out of their conversations and they were both impressed with themselves with that.

Josh was off tonight and he was exceptionally happy about that. He didn't want to work tonight. He wanted to be home and hoped Drake was going to be home too, and thankfully he was. They watched TV and played video games together. They had fun with the daytime them until the first yawn came from Josh.

"Tired?" Drake asked.

"Getting there I guess," Josh smiled. "Why you?"

"You're the one…" Drake yawned "Okay well no, it's just yawning is contagious don't you know that?"

"I know that but I must say I'm surprised you do," Josh teased.

To Josh's surprise Drake flipped him off. Josh opened his mouth to say something but Drake beat him to words "Now, just for that I am taking my shower first," He smirked.

"Fine, just for that I'll…." Josh wasn't sure how to finish that.

"I win," Drake said. Inside he was asking Josh what he won, but that remained a thought only in his mind.

"Fine, whatever. You win… this round maybe but there will be more, don't forget that" Josh yelled as Drake was walking out the door.

It was juvenile they both knew that which is why they did it. They needed that playtime. They just needed to be the daytime them for a few more minutes. They were both a little nervous for bedtime tonight after the previous night's mishaps. Josh chuckled to himself that he wished they made "little blue pills" for those kinds of bedroom mishaps or whatever.

After Drake came back in the bedroom Josh left to take a shower. Drake sat back on the couch and wanted to laugh. It was unbelievable to him that they were in a situation like this. Not just him now like two weeks ago when he was in that bed and then Josh got home but where both of them knew they were both in it and they were touching.

They were both touching, and Josh was kissing except last night when he did too, and Josh was brushing his hair with his fingers, and Josh started the touching. He started really thinking that maybe Josh did actually feel something.

--

After his shower Josh came back in the room. Drake already had the light turned off and just the lamp on.

"Drake, are you ready for bed?" Josh asked.

God, Drake thought, don't ask me that like that. It was bad enough before I started wondering and… "Yeah, are you?" Drake asked.

"Yes," Josh said. Just a simple word he spoke made his heart almost pound out of his chest. No, he told himself. No, calm down. Do you want a repeat of last night? Stop it okay, stop it.

He was ready for bed though. So incredibly ready to climb on the bed and hold Drake, kiss Drake, tell Drake he loved him, brush his fingers through Drake's hair and just breathe Drake. Last night without him was a night he definitely didn't want to repeat.

Drake looked at Josh and smiled making Josh smile back. Josh climbed on the bed on his side and Drake did the same on his. Both of their heart rates sped up. They looked at each other as Josh moved closer and then Drake did the same. They smiled at each other and embraced what they were looking at, Josh at perfection and Drake at star light sparkly eyes. Drake knew if Josh said a word at this moment exactly that he would be breaking through the glass wall just to reach him. Josh thought at this moment that if things were different this would be the time where he would brush Drake's hair out of his eyes and kiss him, really kiss him.

On cue Josh moved his arm under Drake and Drake moved his head on to Josh. Josh put his other arm around Drake and Drake held his hand.

They both wanted to talk tonight. Last night they didn't talk and it didn't go like it usually did. All either of them thought about was the other one though and neither one of them knew how to bring it up or even what exactly they would say.

"Josh," Drake said.

"Hmm" was Josh's soft reply.

Drake shook his head. Why did I get us into this, he asked himself. Why did I let myself stay the first night? Why did I fall in love with you and how can I make it go away? He wanted answers. He moved his hand from Josh's and then turned to his side.

No Drake, no. Not like this, Josh begged in his head. Holding you like I do is one thing. If I have to face you like I did last night it's not so good for me, he said to himself. He did move though and just like last night they were facing each other. They weren't really searching just looking, and smiling… and talking. Talking to each other with their eyes and smiles.

Drake kept glancing at the lamp that stood in their way.

"Is that bothering you?" Josh asked. Drake shrugged. "Do you want me to turn it off?" he asked.

"Do _you_ want to Josh?" Drake asked. Both of them closed their eyes at that question.

The question would have to be answered now. Both of them were terrified of what would happen with the revealed answer. Drake thought Josh might say "it's best if it stays on, or we have to keep it on Drake" or something like that and Josh was imagining him saying yes and Drake freaking out or something. Then they both became afraid of the other possibility.

"Josh," Drake said.

"Drake," Josh said unsure what to do at this moment.

"Do you want to turn it off?" Drake asked again.

"Do you want me to?" Josh asked him again.

Drake looked at the covers under them and then back at Josh. Getting under the covers was the other decision that would have to be made for them to know everything they needed to know. Drake decided since Josh was closer to the lamp he wasn't going to answer that. Josh could decide about the lamp, he would mention the covers. He figured there were two of them and two final decisions to be made and they could each make one, each make a choice to know if they are in this together. "I'm cold," Drake said. He looked at Josh who smiled softly. One down one to go and Josh was going to be the one to answer that question. "Do you want to turn it off Josh?" He asked a third time.

"Yes, okay" Josh said "Yes I want to turn it off".

Both of them smiled at each other. The last two lines, boundaries, preventing them from doing what each of them wanted to do and be what each of them wanted to be with each other was now coming to an end.

Josh told Drake lightly stroking the side of his face. "If you're cold you need to cover up,"

"If it's too bright in here you need to turn the light off," Drake smiled.

Together they crossed the line and together they pushed the boundary. The glass wall was being broken from both sides. Josh leaned over and turned the light off and Drake got under the covers. When the light was off Josh joined him and again they were facing each other. They couldn't see very well but at the same time they could see clearly.

Josh knew the butterflies and everything else in his stomach and throughout his body was leading him to one thing. The one thing he held on to and tried to protect each time he said it. The one thing he tried to mask the meaning of. The one thing he could no longer hide and no longer wanted to hide, "I love you Drake". He moved closer and touched his lips to Drake's. The kiss was soft, quick, and gentle but enough to make him think he would pass out.

Drake heard the words from the one person he knew meant them and the one person he knew would show him, and the one person he could say it back to. He heard the words from the person that had a voice that affected him more than anything or anybody else could, the voice and the eyes that is. He felt lightheaded and was sure if he had been standing up that he would have passed out. The kiss felt like electricity running through his body and the words touched a depth of his heart and soul that he didn't know existed. He knew he loved Josh and feeling the way he felt when Josh said it tonight, for real, for the first time and feeling him kiss him, for real, for the first time even quick was enough to let him know he loved Josh more than he thought he did, and even could. "I love you too Josh". Drake kissed him with the same gentleness. It almost seemed like their routine and it was, in a new way.

Josh leaned over and kissed Drake again. This time Drake put his hand on Josh's head and moved to his back pushing Josh with him so they didn't lose contact. Drake parted his lips and welcomed a new visitor that he hoped would take up permanent residence. Josh moved slowly on top of him and Drake put his legs on the back of Josh's.

They were communicating in a way they had never been able to before and now if they looked around they wouldn't be able to find any boundaries because they pushed them so far they were no longer in sight. Nothing was stopping them from doing this and being this now and they refused to let anything or anybody try.

"God Drake," Josh said resting his forehead on his after their kiss ended. He lifted his head and saw Drake smiling in the moonlight.

"Unbelievable you know. I mean it's really unbelievable," Josh shook his head.

"I know," Drake nodded.

"I never thought when I moved into your room that one of these days you would end up moving into my bed," Josh said.

"Yeah, me either, but I'm here, _aren't_ _I_?" Drake asked.

"Yes, you're here. I hope you're here. I want you here. Last night was terrible without you here and I just love you Drake and I want you here so I really hope you're here," Josh said.

"I'm here Josh, I'm here. I want to be here too. I love you too. I hated it up there last night," Drake rolled his eyes "It didn't feel right and here, in your bed, it feels right".

"Drake," Josh smiled "Don't say that".

Drake looked confused and thought briefly that he had already messed up and he had only been a boyfriend for about five minutes "What?"

"My bed," Josh quickly kissed him "It's not my bed". Drake looked at him. Josh wasn't sure if he was still confused or really just wanted more kissing. "See when I moved in here, your room became our room, and well, now you're moving in with me so my bed isn't _my_ bed anymore, it's our bed now".

Anything else he had to say after that would have to wait. Drake pushed his head down to kiss him again and this time Josh didn't plan on stopping anytime soon either. They had a million questions to ask each other and answer, several decisions to make, and many things to work out, but for now they decided to concentrate on what they both wanted for a long time, wanting each other, kissing each other, and loving each other, in their bed.

--


	5. Thank You

**It's Our Bed Now Chapter 5 "Thank You"**

**Disclaimer: I don't own them. **

**Rated T **

**Summary: The next day. Slash of course. **

**A/N: Okay this is the end now. I want to say thank you to everyone who has taken the time to read it. Also thanks for the reviews. I hope you enjoyed this bonus chapter.  
**

**--**

It's Our Bed Now Chapter 5 "Thank You"

Josh woke up with a sleeping Drake on him, or partially. Drake was on his stomach with his head on Josh's chest, his leg partially over him, and his arm around him. Josh woke up happy, ecstatic even and he had what he believed to be a brilliant idea.

Drake started waking up very slowly but happy. When Boyfriend Josh is making circle patterns on your back it is hard to wake up any other way, he thought. The added bonus is when he looked up to see Josh smiling at him and looking at him with his eyes and the light that was in them. He knew then he had to hold onto this because if he made the light leave now, after becoming this, he wouldn't be able to deal with that.

"Good morning," Josh said.

"Good morning," Drake felt himself almost blush. This is another one of those situations he didn't think he would be in. Waking up in bed with your stepbrother who isn't really or only your stepbrother anymore, but your boyfriend, he thought. The one that has consumed your thoughts for a long time. Waking up in a bed that is no longer his bed but "our bed". It's our bed now. The words played back in his mind.

"Let's get up. I want to do something. We need to go somewhere," Josh told him.

"Where?" Drake asked.

"It's a surprise," Josh said. Drake knew Josh would be a good boyfriend.

"Can't we stay here just a few more minutes?" Drake asked moving over on Josh more.

Josh thought about when he said that on their first Monday after it started. "Yes," He answered this time because last time he couldn't. They stayed like that for a few minutes and Josh kissed Drake's head.

They finally got up and got dressed and ready. Drake was really curious and extremely impatient wondering why Josh was so excited.

"What's got you so excited?" Drake asked.

"You," Josh said. Drake wanted to roll his eyes in the back of his head. Yeah, Boyfriend Josh was awesome and of course Drake rewarded him for that comment with a kiss, which made them want to go back to their bed but Josh stopped them. "Come on, let's go," he said.

--

They pulled into a department store parking lot. Drake looked at Josh confused. "What are we doing here?"

Josh looked at him and smiled "You'll see, come on".

They got out of the car and walked in. Josh led them to where he wanted them to be, the bedding section. He again got a look from Drake.

"Okay, here's the thing. The bedding that is on the bed now is mine. What I chose when it was my bed and well now it's not my bed anymore it's ours so you should get to have a say about what goes on it," Josh told him.

Drake smiled and shook his head. This was too much fun. Only Josh would come up with something like this, and it made him feel special that Josh would consider him like this about something most people would find so trivial but seemed to be important to Josh. He liked the idea too himself actually, he admitted.

--

They bought the bedding then went home and washed it. They were both glad that they were the only ones there while they did it because their parents may have found it strange to see Drake excited about bedding that would be going on what they would still think was Josh's bed.

When it was washed and dried they took it upstairs and Josh talked Drake into making the bed together. It was their bed, their bedding, so they should make it together.

After it was made they stood back and looked at the first of many things they would buy together as a couple. Josh stood behind Drake and put his arms around his waist. Drake held Josh's hands. They looked at the bed as if it was a TV playing the events of the past two weeks. They remembered the first night and the second, all the way up to last night.

Drake felt Josh kiss his cheek. He turned around in Josh's arms and put his hands on Josh's shoulders. He was going to do something that he didn't _just_ _do_. He wanted to do this though. He knew how loved he felt with Josh and wanted Josh to know he really loved him too. He looked Josh in the eyes and put his hands softly on either side of Josh's face "Josh, I love you. I really love you, okay," Drake said and then softly kissed him.

Josh felt his breath leave his body for a moment. Drake telling him he really loved him and they way he said it and the look in his eyes when he said it. Josh knew he was sincere and meant it with his heart.

He brushed Drake's hair and looked into his eyes as well "I love you too Drake, I really love you too," he nodded softly and then kissed him softly at first. Drake parted his lips. Their kiss deepened and both of them moaned into it.

They broke the kiss long enough to get to their bed. Drake sat on it and pulled Josh on top of him making himself fall back. It was them now, together, without the rules they made to try to keep them apart while in bed. It was them together as them together.

Drake inwardly smiled at how he thought of the access they would have to each other because of being stepbrothers and instead of being angry with their parents like he was the other night he now thanked them for getting married and bringing Josh into his life and his room. As he had his hand on Josh's head and the other one around his neck he thanked Josh for loving him and thanked him for running his hands down his sides and putting his fingers through his belt loops, and he thanked him for letting him stay in his bed the first and other nights and he thanked him for making him feel like this.

Josh had gratitude for their parents instead of the resentment and anger that he had the other night. He was grateful for the conversation they brought up and felt it helped them get to where they are right now because the way he felt after their night apart made him realize he couldn't do it again. He had to have Drake to really function inside, to really live. He felt like Drake was part of him and he _was_… he was his heart, and what he had the most gratitude for was for Drake opening up _his_ heart and letting him in and he thanked him for that with each second of their kiss.

They spent the rest of the day in their bed talking about the feelings they kept hidden for the two weeks of their bedtime routine and even how they had the feelings long before then. They talked about different moments that stood out in their minds that made the other one or the thought of them together stand out. They spent their day and then their night laughing, holding, touching, kissing, talking, and loving. They talked about how the future would be and what different people would say or do if they found out they were together and how it all happened. They spent their day and night being stepbrothers, best friends, and their newest role, boyfriends.

--

End.


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